Today I want to share a turning point in my spiritual journey — which, as I can see looking back now, was also a turning point for my entrepreneurial journey — and it all starts with an email I sent to one of my mentors seven years ago.

Here is an excerpt from the end of that email:

“I want to let go of my association with material things, and while I’m intellectually and physically 75% there, I’m still not emotionally able to do so. I want to and I know why I want to, but I like what options money can bring and what I can do with money for others… I also have huge goals for my businesses and goals for owning planes and other huge material things that I know won’t bring joy to me. Maybe happiness, but that’s only short-lived.

“I know that it’s not the goal itself… it’s the journey and who you have to become in order to achieve that goal and what level of consciousness I need to raise to in order to achieve that goal. Every emotion anyone is looking for with a material goal we have already achieved in our lives. I also know that success without fulfillment is ultimate failure.

“So if life happens for us and not to us, how do I keep the goals of material things and goals for businesses without jeopardizing what is ultimate important in life… being?”

These two goals of living a huge material life and a deep spiritual life seemed completely paradoxical, but my mentor responded with advice only someone who has wrestled with this same question could share.

He wrote:

“The material vs. spiritual questions that you ask are very powerful, and in the end, become the very foundation of a life worth living… I think the key is this: Do you own things or do things own you?

“I am very clear that we simply own things. We regularly give some away just to remind us that we’re simply using them while we’re here on Earth. I’m very clear that this is a spiritual journey in a physical form so I practice one thing — giving.”

Whoa. That was it… “Do you own things or do things own you?”

Business as a Conduit For Your Personal and Spiritual Growth

Often we start out building businesses because we want something from the world. More money. More security. More freedom. More power. More prestige. And more often than not, building a business comes from wanting something in the material world that we currently don’t have. It’s a grasp, a reach, a desire… for ultimate fulfillment. For me, it was the money, power, and prestige that I thought would fulfill me.

But one day you realize (like I started to realize around the time of this email) that even the largest material accomplishments only bring fleeting happiness and never long-term joy. And you begin the process of waking up to what’s beyond the material. The funny part is that once you start waking up to this other way of existing your business success actually starts to accelerate at a rapid pace. Think… “What got you here won’t get you there.”

Even years later and more materially successful, I still frequently ask myself this question because it is so powerful… “Does this thing? Does this opportunity? Does this experience own me or do I own it?” Most of the time the answer is that I own it, but I still enjoy nice material things as much as anyone else. So occasionally, I’ll realize that I am clinging on to something because my ego falsely assumes it will get me closer to ultimate fulfillment. The difference is that now that’s the clear sign to me that I need let go, get behind it and 3-2-1… Relax.

Redefining Success For Yourself

Now, this may sound simple, but it’s far from easy. Just when you think you’ve solved the material vs. spiritual dilemma, a new item or opportunity or experience will arise that will ask you to question your intent at a deeper level. Because look – when you’re in business and achieving success at a high level and reaching your personal growth goals, there are always going to be new things and experiences to be had. The key is to constantly be asking yourself, “What part of me is showing up? Is it the part that’s shoring up a stronger identity through material items and new experiences? Or is it the part of me that can experience them without attachment, grasping and clinging?” As I like to say, it’s the quality of the questions we ask that determines the quality of our lives.

But here’s the real takeaway… success in your business doesn’t mean you’re failing in your spiritual life. Let me repeat that. Success in business does not mean you’re failing spiritually. The material, when approached with the right mindset, can actually give you the opportunity to live a deeper spiritual life. With the right mindset and being aware of how you’re experiencing success, you’ll get closer to fulfillment with each material thing that comes your way. Each one is an invitation to shed what you’ve previously used to define yourself in order to get closer to the truth of who you are and lasting joy.

I’m still doing the inner work to approach life in this way and asking this question in some way every day. It’s a process. It’s a journey. With one step at a time, you’ll get closer to fulfillment, joy, and the person you want to be. Just check in with yourself on a regular basis and ask: Do you own things or are things owning you? When they begin to stop owning you, that’s when the real journey to a huge material life and deeply spiritual life begins.

Does this material vs. spiritual debate resonate with you? Join me over on the podcast episode “Do Things Own You or Do You Own Things” for the full rundown and to hear the email exchange between me and my mentor in its entirety.