I was having a call with one of my CEOs the other day, and she hadn’t been hitting her exercise goals in the last few weeks. And she’s definitely not the only one I’ve seen this with recently. I see this all the time – especially around this time of year – when people have the best of intentions to reach their goals but just can’t seem to do it.
She knew what she needed to do (get up early) and what she wanted to do (get in better shape), but for weeks it just wasn’t happening. Why the procrastination? This is the million-dollar question that comes down to one simple answer for everyone who is procrastinating on their goals… the mind.
The mind – that voice in your head – is the number one thing responsible for derailing people from their goals. Your mind, which likes to stay comfortable, tells you every single reason why you shouldn’t do the one thing you actually most want to do. The goal is literally right in front of you for you to take. The truth is that consistency over intensity will get you the results you want every single time. But when your mind starts racing with excuses as to why you can’t do something, you are no longer living your intentions and the wiser part of yourself. You’re living mind.
“It’s too cold out” or “I was up late last night helping the kids” or “I’ll do it this weekend instead.” Classic mind stories. Your mind tells you why everything else should align perfectly (and isn’t) and you listen to that story, rather than just doing it.
A lot of people say that I’m incredibly disciplined, but the truth is all I’ve done is train myself over time not to listen to my mind. I still hear that voice pretty much every morning when I get up at 4:00 AM, and I’ve been getting up at the same time for years. But when I open my eyes, I still hear, “Man, I’m tired today.” Could I follow it? Absolutely. I could easily follow it to the next thought that says, “You’ve been working really hard lately” which leads to “You deserve to sleep in a little” to “If you get up at 4:30 AM, it’s still earlier than most people get up” which leads to, you guessed it, no action. So how do you train yourself to stop listening to that voice?
Recognize the Voice Is Not You
That voice in your head is a tool, but it is not you. Think of it like a car. You can get in, steer it, and use it to get you where you want to go. After all, it helped you set your goals to begin with. But the minute you think you ARE the car, it’s over. Then you’re setting autopilot at 100 mph and kicking your feet up in the backseat. Be aware that you are not the car, and when it tries to get you to hop on in for a nice cruise around town on autopilot, just don’t get in. Say, “No thanks” and let the car drive on by. Now, when I hear, “Man, I’m tired today,” I don’t become the thought and follow it to the next thought. I simply say “There’s that voice again” and the act of recognizing it as separate from myself allows it to pass without me hopping in.
Talk Back to the Voice
Since your voice is not you, one really effective strategy is just to talk back to it. You can say, “No, I don’t want that,” use nice mantras, or frankly, tell it to shut up. Whatever works for you. But once you realize that the voice is not you and that you have the capability to insert yourself in its constant conversation, the voice no longer has the power to run the entire show.
Use Your Willpower
You have will power for a reason, so use it. Similar to talking back to the voice, you’re taking back control. Put your running shoes next to the bed. Better yet, wear your workout clothes to bed. Put a post-it with your goal written on it on your night table or top of your cell phone so that it’s the first thing you see in the morning. I’m talking about getting up early in the morning to exercise here, but the same principles and tactics apply if you want to get up earlier to meditate, eat a healthy meal at lunch, or stay away from a glass of wine at dinner.
What you’re doing is using the conscious, wise part of you to place signposts for what you truly want when your mind is trying to hijack the show, which it will always try to do. Again, it likes comfort, and change and growth aren’t comfortable for the mind. I’m sure you’ve heard tips like these before, but if you’re not conscious of how the mind will try to talk you out of what you actually want, eventually the mind will win. So put your running shoes on the floor and when you seem them in the morning, use them as a way to drive some space between you and your mind.
Take Small Actions to Help You Succeed
One thing I like to tell people is to have your day be over by noon. I can hear you saying, “Yeah, right,” so here’s what I mean by that. Choose one thing that will make your day a success the night before and commit to doing it before noon. That way, by the time noon hits, you’ve won the day. Doing this repeatedly every day, will help train you to focus on what’s absolutely most important every day, and it’s again, consistency over intensity that’s going to amplify your life and business.
Another small action you can do is spend the first five – or even just two – minutes saying positive affirmations that will help you overcome the tidal wave of the mind as you’re starting to train it. When I was first starting out, I would wake up and say things to myself like:
- I am filled with joy
- I am filled with energy
- I am filled with passion
- I am free of negativity
- I am free of anger
- I am free of unworthiness
You don’t have to memorize this or even say this exact list. Just say whatever comes up. It’s never your mind that’s taking you away from what you want – it’s you putting your attention on the mind that’s giving it its power. So put it on something else.
If you practice training yourself to not let your mind run the show using these techniques, then over time you will strengthen your ability to stay seated in yourself and do the things that you actually want (not the ones your mind is telling you to do). Ultimately, when it comes to your goals, it’s not a matter of can you do it, it’s a matter of will you do it.
