How do you answer the question “who are you”? Do you answer, “I’m a CEO,” or “I’m a mother” — or father, dentist, wife, husband, doctor, or some other role? Of course, we all know none of those words or identities get to the core of who you really are, but think back again on your gut-answer. How attached are you to the role that first came into your mind? What would happen if tomorrow you became an empty-nester, or you lost your job? Identifying too strongly with any one role may lead to some suffering when that role suddenly vanishes, and the attachment can limit your thinking and growth.
This week, Hallie and I talk about how to know who you are to your core by starting with who you are not. It may uproot your belief system (also not you!) to discover that you are not your mind, feelings, emotions, and even your body. So, if we aren’t these things, then what exactly are we? How do we navigate the doing world while still taking action to let go of the ego’s attachments and have meaningful inner work? Tune in to find out.
In this episode, you will learn about:
- How to test just how attached to your identity you are.
- How to answer the “who are you?” question with authenticity and as little ego as possible.
- If we aren’t our bodies or our minds, then what exactly are we?
Take a listen and let us know what you think with a comment below! If you like what you hear, make sure to subscribe and share with a friend.
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Timestamps
[1:15] Most often, who we think of as spiritual teachers are really just spiritual seekers sharing their own experience.
[3:04] You can’t actually use your mind to know who you are! To first understand really who we are, we must know we are more than the identity we’ve created. Next, we must really understand (not just think!) that we are not our thoughts.
[5:33] One way to see how strongly you identify with your role is to notice your emotions when it gets threatened. Is there ego and attachment to it? Suffering occurs when we identify strongly with our beliefs, opinions, and thoughts and feel that that is what makes up our worth. Our feelings are something we experience, but they aren’t us.
[11:34] The minute you accept what is happening in your life and surrender to it, the more you can truly experience it.
[19:21] We talk about knowing that we aren’t our bodies, but are we our energy?
[25:51] Why people suffer is because they have identified with the physical form and are attached to it, and fear what it could mean should it go away. We can participate in the doing world while still just knowing it is part of our experience while moving through the being world.
[27:31] If we aren’t really our jobs, our family roles, or even our hobbies, what do we say when people ask us what we do at parties? Be as present as possible, try to answer without ego, and if all else fails, just go talk to the dog.
[35:40] Once you know who you are not, you can know you are. When you truly know who you are, you can drop the need to be right and listen more to the opinions of others without being triggered or feeling the need to get emotional.
[42:49] One practice to get more grounded into your being side is to say “I am” and then stop. Root yourself in being and then have fun in the doing world.
