Have you ever been afraid to grow because you’re worried an important relationship in your life like your marriage or partnership might fall apart? That question hits you in the gut, doesn’t it? No one wants to lose their partner as their life changes.
So it holds a lot of people back from going all-in on their growth.
Here’s the thing though… the ego loves to think in all-or-nothing terms. It says, “I’m either going to grow and lose this person OR I’m going to stay in this relationship and be held back.”
But deep and meaningful relationships aren’t as simple as the ego makes them out to be. For example, one thing you can say to the person you’re afraid of losing is “I’m about to embark on a journey, and I’m a little afraid that I might lose you.”
If it’s a solid relationship, to begin with (whether it’s a spouse, business partner, or friend), that type of honesty and vulnerability is only going to strengthen your relationship. Then as your growth journey continues, you’ll learn how to access deeper levels of connection and handle uncomfortable moments that come with growth.
But if your fear prevents you from starting the journey, to begin with, you’ll never be able to experience that deeper connection with others. So in this episode, we talk about what may happen to your relationships when you do grow and rise up on your journey, how to stay connected, and how to truly be at peace with any outcome.
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Timestamps
[4:28] A good relationship doesn’t mean that person acts and behaves exactly how you like. It is where both people are invested in doing the work and cultivating a life together, but also actively working every day on themselves.
[13:36] The thought of our partner changing, or us changing, can cause fear. It is important to have open conversations about the journey each partner is on so that we can support one another and share experiences. Once you do the work, it is impossible to come back to the place that you were, but you can love your partner for where they are and not feel like you have to play small so that things don’t feel uncomfortable.
[27:12] If you tell yourself that you are fine with anything and not attached to a specific outcome, anything can happen and you feel okay. This practice settles the mind through all those ‘what if’ thoughts.
[30:14] A large part of spiritual work is recognizing that our mind is a tool, but not something that controls us. When you start to lose control, practice saying “I don’t need that” or “That would be fine,” and you take your consciousness and pull it off your mind.
[35:02] There is a difference between using your mind, and having your mind use you.
[39:31] People can tend to have a preconceived notion about what enlightenment and spiritual work looks like, but it’s not always beautiful moments at the top of a mountain! It can be tough, challenging, and downright uncomfortable.
[44:22] Even just working on yourself in the relationship can be a spiritual practice. It helps us become more grounded and selfless, and to take our own ego out of wanting our partner to look and act a certain way.
