This week, I had the opportunity to interview Melissa Bernstein of the well-known and loved Melissa & Doug Toy Company. Melissa shares her journey to self-love and acceptance and the inspiration behind her new book, Lifelines.
Melissa and Doug started their toy company in their garage in 1988 and now have over 5,000 children’s products that have brought joy to millions of children. All 5,000 of those products were imagined and designed by Melissa herself! But financial success did not bring relief for Melissa, who has battled existential depression all her life.
After years of hiding her struggle, Melissa talks openly about her journey, the importance of being seen authentically, and how she found light through her love of nature, the verses that she writes daily and has much gratitude for, and how she realized her curse was also her blessing. She hopes in sharing her story, she can help others who are struggling alone with depression and anxiety.
In this episode, you will learn about:
- How Melissa’s life shifted when she decided to dive into her inner nature rather than trying to distract or push away what she felt was a curse.
- How Melissa’s life-changing shift in mindset has helped her find purpose in life and business.
- It’s not the external achievements that make us consistently joyful. It’s the work in and on ourselves that is not always the easiest.
Take a listen and let us know what you think with a comment below! If you like what you hear, make sure to subscribe and share with a friend.
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Timestamps
[2:51] Melissa speaks to her affinity for nature and how it’s always there to teach us the lessons we need at the time we need them most. Melissa is a collector and can spend hours at a time on a beach just collecting the treasures that wash up.
[8:35] Melissa has been channeling and writing verses since she was five, and they just naturally flow out of her. It was a soothing and grounding way to cope for her in a world that stigmatizes depression and mental health issues. She felt very dark energy since she was young, and didn’t know how to separate her head from her heart.
[11:36] Melissa’s curiosity for life kept her alive. She felt as though life was futile, but wanted to stick around and figure out the answers to many of her unanswered life questions.
[15:38] Melissa talks about her business ending up being her salvation, but by accident. She compares her creativity to a water faucet with darkness and light. The ideas for the Melissa & Doug toys and puzzles just flow to her and appear as naturally to her as breathing air. However, she has to really be committed to her practices of self-care in order to stay grounded and feel healthy.
[19:36] Melissa can create at a whim and fill a blank white canvas with plenty of ideas, but the cost of that is deep, as well. She no longer denies or dissociates from these feelings, but accepts them and uses them to serve her overall purpose.
[25:26] Melissa had all the outward success in the world with Melissa & Doug but realized that the real journey was going inward and really connecting with her soul and accepting all that was. This is not easy, and oftentimes people think enlightenment is possible skipping this step and just achieving things in the external world.
[28:20] Melissa’s non-negotiables are pillars that are literally her lifelines, hence the title of her book, Lifelines. She discusses her daily practices and how they are even more important to do on days that she doesn’t feel like doing them.
[32:30] When we realize that life isn’t perfect and isn’t supposed to be happy all the time, we are able to react less to the oceans of highs and lows, and just be in the present moment.
[36:23] When we feel a certain way, it’s because of something we haven’t processed. Only when you offer yourself compassion can you offer others the same.
[39:01] Melissa shares a powerful exercise she practices called “Be The Sky.” Here she imagines herself as the sky and her feelings are just the clouds that are rolling by.
[51:52] To Melissa, surrender means to allow everything she is and everything she feels to just flow through her.
[53:47] Through Melissa & Doug and Lifelines, Melissa is able to give back to her community and tell others they are not alone. Everyone has the ability to channel darkness into light and find meaning. Until we stop racing outside ourselves for the next quick fix or answer, we will never rest in peace or find true fulfillment.
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