Today is my birthday and what do you do on your birthday? Work, play, special dinner or favorite hobby?
Me? I love to reflect.
Sure, as each birthday comes you gain more experiences, you look a little different you can gain or lose money, you add a new friend and you book a new trip. But in the end and with all the growth and experiences you gain as each year passes, if you really think about it, there is a part of you that doesn’t change at all. There is a part of you that stays the exact same. It’s why you look in the mirror and tell yourself I feel the same as I did a few years ago.
I can remember when i was 20 and thought how old 40 seemed. As i approach my mid 30s (okay late 30’s!) 40 doesn’t seem old at all. Sure over the past years i have added many experiences and grown tremendously but really have i? The real you is the you who is aware of being aware. The constant. The nothingness but everythingness. That’s you.
How many birthdays have you really had? Don’t just answer that question with the mind, but sit with it. A koan is a riddle or poem designed to not have an answer and has been used since the 12th century in many cultures. So here is one to sit with as you think about your birthday. What did your face look like before your parents were born? There’s a part of you that knows there is absolute truth to this statement and there’s a part of you that’s frustrated because it’s inconceivable by the mind.
The absolute truth is you. You’re never really born, you never really die. Sure you change form, the changing of a form can be dramatic, it can cause a tremendous amount of suffering, and we can morn the loss of life taking that form… but you, the absolute truth, never go anywhere.
It’s almost fall here in Vermont now, and I can smell fall in the air which is really the leaves beginning the process of transformation from green to bright beautiful colors to finally letting go of the branch and floating to the ground. Is it really death? No. It’s a change of form. When a cloud turns to rain it’s not the cloud dying, its changing form to produce rain only to repeat the cycle again.
The absolute freedom we are all searching for in life comes down to you understanding who you are. That you are not your birthdays or mind or heart or body. You are the one who comes into this world for whatever reason to experience the mind, the body, the heart. You are nothingness but everything at the same time.
